


a marvelous time

by Ilearnedtoreadforthis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, First Meetings, Getting Together, Inspired by Taylor Swift, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25923676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilearnedtoreadforthis/pseuds/Ilearnedtoreadforthis
Summary: Bucky is working in a dive bar in St. Louis when one day Tony walks in.  It should be a one night stand for both of them but the chemistry between them dictates something else.  Bucky is falling for Tony so easily.  But one day, Tony reveals something that could change everything.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Jane Foster/Thor, Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Comments: 35
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the last great american dynasty by Taylor Swift.

As he looked out the window of the train, watching New York City come into view, Bucky felt his heart in his throat. What was he thinking? God, sure he had known Tony for over a year, but really they have only spent less than four weeks together and now he was headed to New York to marry him. Yes, it was four of the best weeks of Bucky’s life, but should he let four weeks define the rest of his life? 

He thought back to when he met Tony. Bucky was working at a dive bar on the outskirts of St. Louis. The clientele consisted mostly of the local neighborhood regulars along with a small mix of college kids that came in looking for some cheap drinks. So when Tony walked in the door that first night, he stuck out like a sore thumb. 

Tony was absolutely beautiful. He was dressed to the nines in a form fitted suit complete with platinum cufflinks and leather shoes, and he wore sunglasses that probably cost more than Bucky made in a month. He walked with an air of confidence that Bucky had never seen in his life. When he approached the far end of the bar and waved over at Bucky, Bucky quickly shook his head and realized that he had been following the man’s movements ever since he walked in. 

“You are definitely not from around here, gorgeous. What can I get for you?” Bucky asked as he leaned onto the bar toward the man. 

He laid his sunglasses on the bar and flashed a million dollar smile at Bucky that just about knocked Bucky over. “How about a finger of your best whiskey to start? And you aren’t so bad yourself, handsome.”

Bucky gave a flirtatious smile and raised an eyebrow, happy to see that the man seemed open to flirting with him, “Coming right up.”

Bucky knew he was a good looking guy and has had both men and women hit on him quite frequently. Something that comes with the job, he supposed. But he rarely, if ever, took them up on their offers, but he also knew that encouraging whomever was interested at the time would bring better tips so he perfected the art of flirting. 

But this time, Bucky was definitely interested. He didn’t know if it was just the curiosity of the chance at being with someone obviously so different than anyone he had ever met before or if his imagination was getting the better of him and there was truly something to the fantasies of love at first sight.

“I doubt this is what you're used to doll, but it's the best we got,” Bucky explained as he slid the drink in front of him. “So tell me, what’s a good looking guy like you doing in a place like this?”

“Wow,” he replied as he played with the whiskey glass, staring at Bucky in the eyes. “That’s your best line, eh?”

Bucky chuckled. “Normally, I would have found something more intriguing to say, but I’m thinking you might actually have a good story to tell.” Bucky tilted his head, put his elbow on the bar and rested his chin in the palm of his hand.

“And who exactly am I telling this story to, may I ask?”

“My friends call me Bucky. But you can call me James,” Bucky smiled.

Tony looked at him curiously. “What’s with the two names, double stuff?”

“Well, I said my friends call me Bucky, but I don’t think I want you in just the friends category,” A suggestive look crossed Bucky’s face. 

“James, it is,” he nodded. “ You can call me Tony, and I hate to disappoint someone such as yourself, but my story is not that interesting. Just a guy in town on business who had a really long day and wanted, no, needed, a drink. So here I am.”

Bucky gave Tony the once over and said, “Well, let me get you another drink and if you would like something stronger to get your mind off your troubles, maybe that's something else we can discuss?” He put his arm down on the bar and let the other brush over Tony’s forearm.

“Well that does sound like a plan, doesn’t it?”

***

When Bucky woke up the next morning in the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons, it took him a minute to recall the activities of the night before. After chatting off and on with Tony between customers until the bar closed, it was obvious that the chemistry they shared was almost palpable. 

Bucky knew he could be quite demanding in bed, but Tony gave just as good as he got. He was more than happy to let Tony pin him down on more than one occasion. It had been a long time since Bucky had a sexual partner that was as passionate as he tended to be.

He scanned the room and saw his clothing draped over the chair in the corner. Tony must have picked them up this morning, because they definitely did not have the wherewithal last night to be that neat, The smile that Bucky wore started to fade. He started wondering if Tony had already left him this morning, since he didn’t see any of the other man's clothing piled there as well. 

As Bucky started to get dressed, he heard Tony’s voice in the next room, and the smile instantly returned to his face. His movements quickened, and he walked into the next room.

“Like I said Platypus, I won’t know anything concrete until tomorrow when the results are in,” Tony said talking into his phone. “And you’ll be the first to know. “ Tony paused, covered up the receiver with the palm of his hand and whispered to Bucky, “I’m almost done, make yourself comfortable.”

Bucky turned away and tried to give Tony a bit of privacy, so he walked over the wall of glass windows to look out over the city.

Tony returned to his phone call. “At least a couple more days...Yes, dear... No, I don't need you to come here to keep me company, I think I have plans of my own.” He smiled as he looked up at Bucky.

Bucky couldn’t help but overhear Tony’s words, and he turned his head to look over at Tony out of the corner of his eye. They briefly made eye contact, and Bucky nodded his head twice in Tony’s direction.

“Yep, definitely have plans. I’ll talk to you when I know something... Love you too.” Tony blew a kiss into the phone and hung up as he gestured to the table.

“James, come sit down. I ordered room service for us. You must be hungry after last night. I know I worked up quite an appetite, and that is saying something for me. I normally live on coffee alone in the mornings.”

“Didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” Bucky said as he sat down at the table. 

“Don’t worry about it. That was just my best friend checking in on me. What can I say, he worries about me.”

“Well if last night is any example, I can see why he worries, doll,” snickered Bucky.

“And here I thought I made a rather favorable impression last night.” Tony reached out his hand and placed it over Bucky’s.

Bucky placed his other hand on top of Tony’s’. “Now if I didn’t know better, I would think you didn’t get enough last night and are looking for round two.”

“Oh honey, we are well past round two. I’d say it's more like round five. And I don’t like to end things in uneven numbers. That is, if you are so inclined.”

“Inclined, standing up, laying down - however you want it, Tony.” Bucky looked down at Tony’s lips and leaned in and captured Tony’s lips in a deep kiss that Tony was more than happy to return.

“Just let me grab something to give me a bit of energy so I can keep up with you.” Bucky stood and grabbed a couple pancakes, threw a couple pieces of bacon between them with an egg, making a semblance of sandwich. He then grabbed Tony’s hand and led him to the bedroom. 

***

“So what kind of businessman are you that you can just spend your day lounging in bed with me? I am going to guess not a very good one,” Bucky asked as he placed a kiss on Tony’s head, snuggling in closer as he played his part as the big spoon.

Tony smirked, “First, I would hardly call this lounging. I have had more cardio in the past 12 hours than I've had in the past six months combined. And second, maybe I'm an extremely good businessman who can afford to pay other people to do all the work.”

“Oh I found myself a sugar daddy and more importantly, a sugar daddy who is fantastically agile in bed. Lucky me.” Bucky squeezed Tony tight while he whispered in his ear.

Tony wiggled his way around to face Bucky and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “We certainly have that part in common then." 

Tony placed his hand on Bucky's cheek while his thumb traced the line of his jaw. "So do you make it a habit of going home with all your attractive customers to provide extra services?"

"Puttin' yourself on a pedestal there, I see. Didn't peg you for the type to fish for compliments."

Tony gave a small shrug.

"But to answer your question. No. I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything, I get plenty of offers doing what I do, but there's gotta be something special there, ya know? When I was younger, it was all about the sex - every conversation, every flirtation. It was a way, I thought, to get people to like me. Sad, huh?" 

Bucky stared off into the distance. "But as I get older, I've learned not to give a fuck."

"In the literal sense?" 

"Yep.” He looked back down at Tony's face. “When I'm with someone now, it's because there is something else there that I want to get to know, something not just physical, you know? But what about you? Do you often partake in the company of your stunningly gorgeous bartenders?"

Tony lips turned up slightly. "Upped the stakes, I see...nice." Tony bobbed his head a couple times. "I've been known to have my occasional one night stand, but like you it's mostly in the past. Too much drama that I don't need."

Tony smiled that smile that made Bucky melt and continued, “What do you say that we get cleaned up and go find ourselves a proper meal? And then maybe this sugar daddy can take you for a night on the town, unless you have to work tonight.”

Bucky liked the idea of getting a chance to spend more time with Tony and get to know him, even though he knew deep down that Tony would be leaving town soon. But he decided that a couple days with Tony would be worth any longing he would have to bear once he left.

"Hmmm. That sounds like an offer I can't refuse."

***

Bucky and Tony went to a little bistro not far from the hotel and found a booth in the corner. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and they ended up staying at the restaurant for almost three hours just talking. 

Bucky answered every question Tony presented to him without hesitation. After all, what did he have to hide? He told him that he was 32 years old and divorced. He lived in St. Louis most of his life and was in the foster care system after his mom died. That’s where he met his best friend and brother, Steve, who had been there since he was 14. He never got the chance to go to college and had briefly thought of joining the military to make something of his life, but the thought of such a structured lifestyle made him cringe.

Tony in response told Bucky about his life in New York. About how he met his best friend at 14 as well, but it was at MIT. About how his father had built up a weapons company that he had been in charge for the last 20 years since his parents' death in a car crash when he was 21. And he spoke of his inventions and how he was trying to become the next big name in green energy. Bucky hung on every word.

"No ex-wives or ex-husbands in there?" Bucky asked.

"Never made it that far. When you make the family business your life, it kinda takes over that aspect as well. Let's just say that I never found anyone that could hold my interest long enough to make me want to reorder the priorities in my life."

"I guess that doesn't bode well for me then, huh?" Bucky said as his fingers trailed along the back of Tony's hand.

"I would say the exact opposite, sweetheart." Tony flipped his hand over, taking Bucky's hand into his own. "I have definitely never met anyone like you before." He lifted their hands up and kissed Bucky's knuckles.

"Really? How so?"

Tony leaned back in his seat. "You mean besides the fact that you are incredibly hot with abs I could bounce a quarter off of and do things in bed that would embarrass a veteran porn star?"

"Well, we can revisit your quarter idea later, but yeah, what else ya got?"

Tony paused. "You're real. In my life, I'm surrounded by ass kissers and assholes. But we've been sitting here for hours, and you've been an open book. I've known my fair share of bullshit artists, and you are not one. You are who you are, with no apologies."

Bucky glanced down momentarily then looked Tony square on, "And that's a good thing?"

"It is to me. But what about you? What keeps you here sitting with me? I mean, besides the sugar daddy thing?"

A heartfelt laugh escaped Bucky. "Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something? I couldn't hear you with all those cash register bells ringing in my ears.

"But to be honest Tony, I've never been into "stuff", ya know? I don't need that much to make me happy. Bar tending makes enough to pay the bills and gives me enough time to enjoy life."

"Uh-oh, that doesn't bode well for me now." Tony feigned despair. "I'm used to letting my money do my talking."

"Then you've been awfully quiet, 'cause how I see it, I haven't really seen any of those sugar daddy perks. But there is just something about you, doll. The way you walk, the way you talk. It drew me in from the second I saw ya come into the bar last night. And you haven't disappointed me yet."

Tony brought his arm up and looked at his watch, "Eighteen hours. Hmph. A new record. I usually disappoint people within the first eight."

"I guess you have your work cut out for you where I'm concerned."

Tony took ahold of both of Bucky's hands, looked at Bucky softly and spoke. "The last thing I want to do right now is disappoint you."

"Good to know." Bucky said as he slid out of the booth and pulled Tony with him. "Come on, if I remember correctly, you have no other plans today, so we have the rest of the day to burst each other's bubbles. Let me show you my side of the city."


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky and Tony spent the rest of the afternoon walking around the city. Bucky took Tony to the neighborhood he grew up in while regaling Tony with stories of the trouble he caused when he was a youth. 

“You did what?” Tony shrieked.

“Hey, he totally deserved it. He bullied me and Steve for years.”

“Okaaay,” Tony said shaking his head a bit, “I need a few more details.”

Bucky linked his arm through Tony’s as they walked down the street. “His name was Brock, Brock Rumlow. Giant asshole. He was a couple years ahead of us in school. Every chance he got he would pull some sneaky shit on either me or Steve. I can’t tell you how many times he would sucker punch one of us or start some sort of rumor that would spread through the school. I guess he figured since we were just poor kids in the foster care system, we were fair game.

“I mean he pretty much ruled the school with all his bullshit - no one was safe really. But one day, Steve and I just had it, ya know?” Bucky looked over at Tony and continued. “He drove this ‘67 Mustang...it was his baby. So one night in January, Stevie and I snuck out and took like two or three dozen bags of cotton balls and a couple buckets of water over to his house, soaked the cotton balls in the water and plastered them all over that car - every inch. By morning, they were all completely frozen on that puppy.”

Tony laughed, “I love it! I know some people I would like to do that to.”

“Well if you do, I highly recommend you wear some good waterproof gloves. By time we were done, neither one of us could feel our fingers anymore because they were frozen solid. But it was totally worth it. We didn’t see that car again until spring.” A huge smile crossed Bucky’s face as he remembered.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” replied Tony. “You have made me realize that I have had a pretty tame life. I feel like I have been missing out.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, “I find that hard to believe. You can’t tell me that you weren’t a little hellion in college. And no one gets that good in bed without a lot of practice.”

“Well on that front, I guess I have had my fair share of practice. But that is part of the gig. Everyone wants something from you and if I got laid out of it, all the better, right?” Tony shrugged. “But as far as college goes, remember, I was 14 when I started. I wasn’t exactly Mr. Popularity - no matter how much money my family had.

“I had Rhodey. He kept the vultures at bay, kept his eye out for me. But mostly I kept my head down and worked hard. By the time I was 18, I was already halfway to my second PhD. That doesn’t leave much room for anything else. And then after my parents died, I became the head of the company. Hard to be CEO of a fortune 500 company and still get away with cotton-balling someone’s car.”

“You’re missing out on some of the true joy in life, Tony. Revenge. It’s the best.”

“Remind me never to piss you off, James.” 

Bucky laughed as they continued to walk. “If you do, trust me, you’ll never see it coming.”

“I believe it. So, after all these stories about you and Steve, tell me, are you two still close?”

“Not as close as we used to be, but yeah, I still consider him my brother. He moved to Chicago a few years back, got married, had a kid. He works in an art gallery now - livin' his dream. But we still talk all the time and I try to make it up there a couple times a year. He's been trying to get me to move up there ever since the divorce; thinks I need a fresh start.”

“And you don’t agree?”

“He’s got his own life, and I don’t want to interfere with that. Besides I’m doin’ ok.” Bucky stopped walking and held Tony’s hand. “And if I were in Chicago, I wouldn’t have met you.” He leaned into Tony, slid his hand down the side of his face and tilted his chin up to meet his face and placed a soft kiss on Tony’s lips. 

Tony lifted his eyes to meet Bucky’s. “I would say you made the right decision then.”

Bucky’s face turned a little more serious, “So how much longer do I get the pleasure of your company?”

Tony took a deep breath, trying to sound nonchalant, “I have an appointment tomorrow at one and then I have to fly out immediately after that. But until then, I am all yours.”

“I like the sound of that,” snickered Bucky as he put his arms around Tony’s waist, pulling him in tight. “What’ll it be then? Dinner? Maybe a nightclub?”

“Why on earth would I want to take you to a nightclub with all those other people? I was thinking something more private...like room service and some more cardio perhaps.”

“Well I did miss my morning run.”

***

“Isn’t check-out at 11?” Bucky asked as he pulled the sheet up over his torso noticing the time.

“Check-out time, darling, is when I say it is and not a moment before. Sugar daddy, remember?” Tony said as he lay next to Bucky with his head laying on Bucky’s shoulder, arm draped over him.

“Ya know, doll, you keep saying that but where are my diamond cufflinks? My sports car? Hmmm? You’re the worst sugar daddy ever.”

Tony sat up and put his leg over Bucky and straddled Bucky’s hips. “So have I done it then?”

“Done what?.”

“Disappointed you?” Tony tilted his head and rubbed his hands down Bucky’s bare chest,

“Not a chance.” He pulled Tony down and wrapped his arms tightly around the other man and snuggled into his neck. “I got what I wanted right here.”

Tony sat back up with a frown on his face and looked longingly at Bucky. “I wish I had more time here, but I have to leave today.”

Bucky laid his hands on Tony's hips and let his thumbs run up and down on his skin. "Can't say I won't miss seeing your beautiful face, but I know. And if you ever find your way back here, you know where to find me, right?"

"Without a doubt."

Bucky pulled Tony back down on top of him and held him, rubbing his hands up and down his back. They laid just holding each other for a while until Tony absolutely had to get out of bed and get ready for his appointment. 

They took the elevator down to the lobby, not talking, just holding each other's hands loosely by the fingertips. When they reached the main door of the hotel, Bucky held Tony's face in his hands, kissed him gently, and whispered, "I'll miss you."

Without waiting for a reply, Bucky gave Tony a half smile, squeezed his hand, and said goodbye. He then quickly turned and walked out of the hotel.

Bucky pushed his hands in his pockets and picked up his pace, trying to get some space between him and Tony. He felt tears start to well in his eyes. The last thing he wanted was for Tony to see him cry. He silently cursed reminding himself that he had only known Tony for less than 48 hours, that it shouldn't mean as much as it did.

He knew that he and Tony were worlds apart. Tony came from money and power, led a high profile life, and probably could have anyone on his arm...so why would he ever choose someone like him? Just a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks.

Bucky shook his head as he continued to walk. Nope, he wasn't going to go down that road. He knew what he was getting into when he picked Tony up that night. He should consider himself lucky that he got a couple days out of what should have been a one night stand.

It was just that for the first time in a long time he felt he made an actual connection with someone. He knew that at least for him, it felt more than a one night stand should. He felt comfortable around Tony, opened up to him more than he probably should have, and the sex - there weren't words to describe how compatible they were in the bedroom. 

Before Bucky knew it, he had walked to the Citygarden. It was a sculpture park that Steve used to drag him to before he moved to Chicago. Steve would go between the pieces of art and try to explain the intricacies of each piece, much to Bucky's dismay.

In front of him was a sculpture of Eros, or rather the decapitated head of Eros, the Greek god of love and desire. He remembered the first time that Steve showed it to him. It had hollowed out eyes as it laid on its side and basically creeped him out.

But as he sat and looked at it now, he felt he understood it. The emptiness of its eyes, the missing heart and soul of his body. 

"This is how you ended up decapitated, you motherfucker," Bucky grumbled to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks, Bucky threw himself into every project he could just to keep his mind off Tony. It started with working on his dripping bathroom sink. But with the mood he was in, it led to completely tearing out the bathroom sink and replacing the entire vanity. He then moved onto the kitchen to fix an outlet that was broken. Of course that led him to rewiring the kitchen to add a new light switch just off the dining area. He even picked up a few extra shifts at the bar in the hopes that Tony might show up some night.

He had just about come to terms with the fact that he and Tony were just two ships that passed in the night when he arrived at work that night.

"Hey Buck," Sam greeted him. Sam Wilson was the owner of the bar. When Sam bought the bar a few years ago, Bucky was the only employee he kept on staff after he found out the other employees were skimming money off the top. Bucky was the one that brought it to Sam's attention because he genuinely liked Sam and thought he was a good boss who deserved loyalty from his employees.

"Evenin' Sam, how ya doing?" Bucky moved behind the counter and donned an apron around his waist.

"Can't complain. I almost forgot though. This package came to the bar the other day and I'm not sure if it was intended for you or if you have a brother or something 'cause it's addressed to a 'James Barnes'."

Sam walked into the backroom and reemerged with a box that he set on the bar in front of Bucky.

Bucky felt his heart start to thump in his chest since only one person called him James. "James is my real name," Bucky replied solemnly.

"Wait, hold on," Sam cried, "Your name is James?"

Bucky nodded.

Sam continued dumbfounded, "Then why on God's green earth have I been calling you by a dumbass dog's name all these years when you've had a perfectly normal sounding name all along?"

Bucky scowled at him. "It's not a fuckin' dog's name, asshole."

He looked at the package that was addressed to him nervously. He had spent the last month and a half actively trying to avoid thinking of Tony, not that it had been very successful. But now as he traced the edge of the box, all of his emotions came back to the forefront of his mind.

He noticed that there was no return address, not that he expected one. He really had no way of contacting Tony himself. He had looked up Stark Industries on the internet once shortly after Tony left but it's not like there was a direct phone number or email address for Tony. 

He opened the box and softly chuckled to himself. He pulled out a replica of a 1967 Mustang with tiny cotton balls glued all over it in a display case. On top was a note that simply read, _I'll_ _miss_ _you_ _too_. _Tony._

Damn. He thought. He tried not to read too much into the gift, but he'd be lying to himself if he didn't picture Tony sitting at his desk thinking about him.

"Um, why?" Sam asked when he looked over at the car.

"Someone reminding me of a prank I pulled when I was younger." Bucky said as he stared intently at the car.

"Shit, you glued balls onto someone's car?" 

"Uh, no," Bucky looked at Sam incredulously. "That would be destruction of private property. Does that sound like me?"

"Well, no but…" Sam trailed off.

"I merely affixed them with water in the middle of winter... nature did the rest. I'm sure they melted off, eventually. No harm, no foul," Bucky stated matter of factly.

"You are one interesting dude,  _ James _ ."

"One more 'James' out of you, you'll see just how  _ interesting _ I can be."

Sam put his hands up in the air as a form of surrender. He retreated into the back room as Bucky returned his gaze to the car and began to run his finger over the note.

He must still be thinking of me too, thought Bucky. That thought brought a sly smile to Bucky's face. He hoped that it was a precursor of things to come with Tony. 

After that, Bucky couldn't help but think about Tony everyday. He had placed that damn car on his mantle where every morning when the sun came through the front window it illuminated it like a frickin' show piece. At first, it was a happy reminder, but after another month of not hearing from Tony again, he felt his hope break away little by little.

"Snap out of it Barnes," Bucky admonished himself. "You're acting like a lovestruck school girl. He said he'll miss you, not he'll see you."

His eyebrows furrowed and he rubbed the back of his neck. "We had a fantastic couple days, be happy with that."

When he got to work that night, he walked through the door with a different attitude. He decided to look back on his time with Tony as a gift and remember it fondly.

He knows he's been kind of a dick lately, his mood getting worse with each passing week, so even Sam noticed Bucky's lifted spirits. 

"You seem to be in a better mood today," commented Sam. "It's about fuckin' time."

"Yeah, sorry about the past few weeks. I've managed to pull my head out of my ass and put things in perspective."

Bucky hadn't told Sam too much about his time with Tony. He knew that if Sam found out that he was acting like that over a one night stand that he would never hear the end of it.

"Well, I was waiting for you to be in a better mood when I gave you this. Thought it would class up the joint.." Sam reached under the bar and grabbed a name tag that read 'James'".

"What the hell is this?" Bucky yelled as he flipped the name tag around so he could read it. "Nobody calls me fuckin' James."

"I do," came a voice from behind him. 

Bucky's eyes snapped up as he spun himself around. "Oh my God, Tony!"

He stepped into Tony's space and flung his arms around his waist, picked him up and squeezed tight. 

"What are you doing here?" rushed out of Bucky's mouth before he could set Tony back down. 

"Wait, first you tell me why your head's been up your ass." Tony laughed.

"Doesn't matter anymore, " Bucky shook his head. "I can't believe you're here."

Tony leaned in, stroked Bucky's cheek, and whispered, "I missed you too much."

Bucky closed the distance between them and kissed Tony with every ounce of feeling he had been bursting with over the past three months of longing for Tony.

"I'm guessing you feel the same?" Tony smirked.

"You know I do….oh, shit, Tony!"

"What's wrong James?"

"I'm supposed to fucking work tonight." Bucky momentarily looked apologetic. “ I'm sorry,” he continued as he turned around to face Sam.

Sam quickly stepped in. "Oh no, hey...I got this shift covered for you. You go spend some time with your man there."

Bucky laughed softly. "Well that's real nice of you to offer, Sam. 'Cause that I'm sorry was for you. I'm afraid I aint feelin' too good. Gonna go home and get to bed."

"TMI there my friend. Go, get out," Sam hollered to them as he pointed toward the door.

Tony grabbed Bucky's hand and started toward the door. "You heard the man, babe. Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

Bucky was the first to speak as they lay in bed facing each other. “I can’t believe how much I missed you.”

“Actually, I think I can. That was quite a performance just now.”

“I don’t think a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about this. Having you here in my bed.”

Tony reached up to Bucky’s face to move a strand of hair that had fallen into his face. “And what a comfortable bed this is. I might stay a while.”

“Yeah? More meetings? How long do I get you for this time, doll?” 

“I have an appointment first thing in the morning that will probably take until lunch and another sometime later in the week but that’s it. I was hoping to spend a bit longer this time, maybe four or five days? That’s if you’ll have me.”

“Oh babe, I plan on having you in so many ways.” Bucky reached his hand up to the other man’s neck and lightly caressed his skin. He pulled him in and kissed him gently, letting his tongue lightly play with Tony’s.

“Oh I am so going to owe Sam for this. I was supposed to work most of the week. But I don’t think this cold is going away.” Bucky added a fake cough to make his case.

Tony looked a little sheepish, “I don’t think you need to worry about that.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I might have made a little deal with Sam regarding your work schedule.”

“I think I need more here, love.”

Tony propped himself up on his elbow, “Well, I’m always looking for new investment opportunities. So I offered Sam a business deal. Just a little capital to upgrade the bar. I feel there is a lot of untapped potential there. And in exchange,” Tony's confidence waned a bit as he looked down and started drawing circles on Bucky’s arm with his finger, “Sam took you off the calendar for a bit.“

Bucky raised both eyebrows this time, “Let me get this straight. You basically paid for my company for the week, like  _ Pretty Woman _ , like a hooker?”

“Geez, when you put it that way, it sounds horrible. I prefer to look at it as paid time off. That’s just what any good company should do for their employees.” Tony looked up quizzically at Bucky, “Are you mad?”

“Hell no, doll. I just hope that Sam got a good price for me, ya know I don’t come cheap. All of this,” he gestured at his body, “is worth a fucking fortune.”

The relief on Tony's face was clear. “Don’t I know it, babe. No matter what the price, I'm getting the better end of the deal. I told you, I am a wonderful businessman.”

"All I know is that it is about damn time I started receiving some of those sugar daddy perks I’ve been hearing so much about," grinned Bucky.

"What are you talking about?" countered Tony with a sly smile crossing his face, "I already bought you a 1967 Mustang."

Bucky pulled Tony in, "Ah, how could I forget? My bad. You do spoil me."

"Don't you forget it. And unless you want it to stop there, you better think about feeding me soon because I am absolutely starving to death."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?" Bucky kissed Tony's forehead and quickly squeezed him. "Come on, let's see what I have in the fridge."

Bucky threw the covers off and slung his legs out of bed. He pulled his boxers on and found a robe. He looked at the clock and saw it was just past two in the morning. “So what are you in the mood for? Dinner food or breakfast food?”

“Breakfast, no contest. I usually sleep through breakfast so I miss out on waffles and pancakes. And who doesn’t love little fluffy cakes with liquid sugar on them?” 

“What are you five? Would you like sprinkles and whipped cream, too?”

Tony gave a hopeful look, “Do you have those?”

Bucky shook his head laughing as he walked into the kitchen and started grabbing the ingredients to make breakfast for Tony. A few minutes later, Tony came walking into the kitchen wearing one of Bucky’s t-shirts and a pair of boxer shorts.

“Your house is beautiful, Bucky. I love the mantle you have over the fireplace, the craftsmanship is exquisite.”

“Well thanks doll. That is a one of a kind piece. Made that myself,” Bucky explained as he put the bacon in the frying pan. 

“Seriously? It's gorgeous. You are a man of many talents I see. I am very impressed.” 

“I bought this house dirt cheap as a fixer upper right after my divorce and have been working on it ever since. Keeps me out of trouble.”

“That’s a lot of responsibility for one house isn’t it...you know, to keep  _ you  _ out of trouble?”

Bucky’s mouth dropped open as he eyed Tony, “Was that sass that just came out of your mouth ?”

“Maybe,” Tony shrugged.

Bucky feigned hurt and put his hand over his chest, “You cut me, Tony. You cut me real deep.”

Bucky turned back to the stove while Tony came up behind him and grabbed him around the middle and nuzzled his neck, “I guess I’ll need to find a way to make it up to you.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Bucky covered Tony’s hands with one of his own. “Now which do you want? Waffles or pancakes?”

“I’m almost too embarrassed to tell you after your last comment. But I’d prefer waffles ‘cause you get to put syrup in all those little pockets.”

“That settles it. You are five. I know I don’t have any sprinkles, but I might have whipped cream somewhere.”

“Don’t use it all, I might want to use that a little later.”

The next morning, Tony woke Bucky up as he was getting ready to leave for his appointment. Tony said he would call him when he was done and they could meet for lunch. After Tony left, Bucky looked around the bedroom noticing Tony’s suitcase sitting on the chair in the corner. He felt a rush of emotion as he thought about Tony staying with him this week. 

Briefly, he thought about how he would feel once Tony left again, but he figured that was a problem for future Bucky and he was going to enjoy every second of Tony’s visit. So, he got out of bed, took a shower and started cleaning up the kitchen from the night before to keep himself busy until Tony phoned.

***

"I'm sorry that I never called you," Tony looked apologetically at Bucky as they sat eating lunch.

"I have no excuse that doesn't sound absolutely selfish on my part. I thought about you constantly, even picked up the phone a few times but always managed to justify to myself why I shouldn't."

Bucky held Tony's hands across the table. "I'm not going to lie to you...I wish you would’ve. But the past is the past. I don't want you to feel bad about it Tony. You're here now. And I just want to enjoy our time together.”

Tony looked surprised, "I've never met anyone like you, James. Most people would lay a guilt trip on me or expect something else of me, not forgive and forget."

"Seems counterproductive to being happy. I ain't got time for that, especially where you're concerned. Our time is already too short as it is. Besides, do guilt trips sound like my style? I have no problem laying everything out on the line. It's just who I am. Now come on, let's move on. What would you like to do tonight? We never did get to go to that night club."

"Can we do that tomorrow? I'd really just like to relax with you tonight. These meetings take a lot out of me."

"Anything you want doll," Bucky lifted Tony's hands up to meet his lips. "We can order in or I make a mean chicken piccata."

"That sounds like an awful lot of work...for you, not me, that is. And I think we've already established that I am a bit on the selfish side so how about we order in so I can monopolize your time tonight instead of a chicken?"

The waitress interrupted before Bucky could respond, “Can I get you fellas anything else?"

Bucky did a quick check with Tony. "No thanks, we're all set," replied Bucky.

She smiled and placed the bill in the middle of the table, "I'll take that whenever you're ready, no rush. Thanks for coming in today."

They both reach for the bill, but Bucky is just a bit faster. "I got this. It's the least I can do, after all you've done."

"Oh come on, I haven't done anything. You're the one who made breakfast and is letting me stay with you. And you can't be talking about the car, it was just a toy."

"We both know you've done more than that."

Tony looked confused, "What do you mean?"

Bucky leaned in on his elbows, "Sam? The bar?"

"Oh," Tony looked down for a moment and then looked Bucky in the eye, "Thank you for lunch, James.'

"It's my pleasure, Tony."

Tony drives them back to Bucky's house where they decide to relax on the couch. Not five minutes had passed when he saw Tony's eyelids begin to look heavy.

Bucky grabs Tony by the hand and leads him to the bedroom. "Nap now, talk later," is all he says.

But even later that night as they lay on the couch, Tony between Bucky's legs leaning back into Bucky's chest, Bucky can feel the other man shift and squirm quite often. 

"Babe, you okay?" Bucky spoke softly, leaning toward Tony's ear. "You seem tense."

Tony relaxed into Bucky's chest. "I'm sorry. All the things from my meeting this morning are reeking havoc in my head right now. Can't seem to shut my brain off."

"I got a little pot in the bedroom if you want to relax. You know, if you want."

Tony considers it, "I haven't had pot since high school."

"Wait a minute, you were 18 when you were on your way to getting your second PhD. How fucking young were you in high school?"

"I really don't see how that's relevant to this conversation," Tony said incredulously.

"Well, first of all, it means you haven't had a buzz in what, three  _ decades _ . And second, it also means that, unless you were a little adventurous as a 10 year old, I'm going to guess you have never had sex under the influence."

"I've had drunk sex if that counts," Tony replied.

"Oh no babe, this is completely different. I mean, I know everyone reacts a bit differently to it, but it's pretty common for it to enhance the pleasure. I know from my experience, the entire world just fades away and that's all I feel."

"I don't know how sex with you could possibly be any better, love. But if it's a way to silence the voices in my head, I'm game."

“Oh this is going to be fun.” Bucky grabs Tony’s hand and whisks him into the bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

The remainder of the week flew by. Tony finished up his next set of meetings, Bucky showed Tony all the touristy spots around the city and they spent the nights wrapped in each other's arms.

By the end of the week, when it was time for Tony to leave, Bucky knew for certain that he was falling in love with Tony.

"This is going to be hard," Bucky said solemnly as he held Tony in his arms as they lay together in bed. Tony was curled up against Bucky's side with his head in the crook of his shoulder.

"What is?"

"Waking up tomorrow without you here."

Tony moved his arm across Bucky's chest and hugged him. "This week has been amazing. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for doll. I enjoy every second I spent with you."

A sadness lingered in the air until Bucky spoke. "You mean a lot to me, Tony. Before you came back, I had our time together built up in my head, ya know? I really tried telling myself it wasn't as great as I remembered. But now I can't deny it. Something just feels so right. Is it just me?'

Tony burrowed his head further into Bucky's chest and held him even tighter. "No, sweetheart, it's not."

"Good to know." Bucky returned the hug and kissed Tony's head. 

"Good to know," he repeated.

Every few months Tony came back into town for a few days for business. He usually stayed for three or four days each time but they talked and texted regularly when they were separated. Each time Tony came into town, Bucky's schedule mysteriously was clear at work. 

"Okay," Bucky asks Sam one day when he notices the schedule change at the bar. "How do you know to take me off the schedule when Tony is coming into town before I even get the chance to tell you?"

Sam looks up from the bar where he is rifling through paperwork. "He calls me. It's not rocket science, genius."

"He calls you? My Tony? Calls you?". Bucky stared at Sam like he grew a second head.

"Yeah, your Tony calls me," Sam repeats back mockingly. "For some reason he enjoys your company, so he lets me know he's coming to town so I make sure your shifts are covered. He is under the impression that you're a conscientious employee, I guess."

"Oh, fuck you."

Sam put his pen down and looked at Bucky. "So, uh, how serious is it between you two? Should I be considering hiring a new bartender any time soon?"

Bucky tried to make himself busy cleaning up some glasses that were at the end of the bar. "Don't be ridiculous."

"You know, I'm sure if you asked, he could make your life a whole lot easier. If you catch my drift."

Bucky stopped everything and turned to Sam, "I really hope you are not implying what I think you are."

"No offense, Buck. I'm just saying."

"I would never take advantage of Tony that way."

"I know, I know. You and your moral code. Lucky for me, I have no code like that."

"Speaking of your lack of morals, what exactly is your so called business arrangement with him?"

Sam smiled, "That's bar business. That does not concern employees."

"In other words, he asked you to keep it to yourself?"

"Can’t say.."

****

"Babe, if you're going to shower before we leave you better get moving," Bucky called out to Tony from the bedroom. Tony had come into town a couple days ago, and it seemed every time, everything just fell right back into place, as if they were never apart.

"Babe?" Bucky called again as he walked into the living room. He found Tony curled up on his side, asleep on the couch.

He sat down on the edge of the cushion by Tony's chest and shook him gently, "Babe."

"Huh?" A groggy Tony mumbled.

"I was saying if you want to shower before we leave, you better do it now. The game starts at seven sharp. And if we're the last ones there, we will have to stay and help Sam clean the bar. And I do that enough on the daily." Bucky paused, "But if you're too tired, I can call Sam."

Bucky was excited about tonight. Every year since Sam owned the bar, he closed it down for one night to host a poker party for his friends. Steve was even coming into town for the event. It would be the first time anyone besides Sam would meet Tony.

Tony stretched. "My appointment this morning wiped me out so I was just taking a power nap, love. Gotta be on my toes tonight."

Bucky got up from the couch and extended a hand to Tony. "You sure? I can cancel."

Tony took Bucky's hand and popped off the couch into his arms. "Wouldn't dream of it. I know you've been looking forward to this. Just getting a bit of beauty sleep in first."

Bucky pulled him in with a smirk across his face, "We ain't got that kinda time."

"That was just rude," Tony smacked Bucky's arm.

"Sorry, babe. Saw an opening and I took it. You know I think you're beautiful." Bucky smiled down at Tony and kissed him. The kiss deepened until Tony pulled back.

"I thought we had to get ready. If you keep this up, we'll never get there."

Bucky released Tony from his grip and put his hands in the air. "You're right. Couldn't help myself."

"We'll continue this later." Tony kissed Bucky on the nose and headed off to the shower.

***

"This way, Tony," Bucky called out as Tony was headed for the front door of the bar.

"Aren't we going in?"

"We're going in through the back door. If Sam keeps the front door unlocked, he will be fending off customers all night.”

They slipped in through the back door and saw Sam and his wife setting up food by the front window and they gave a small wave as they came in. 

"Thank God the bartender is here, maybe now we can get some service." Came a voice from the group sitting at the bar.

Bucky laughed, "Not tonight fellas, it's my night off. Get your own fucking drinks."

Bucky walked up to the small group of friends with Tony in tow.

"Guys, let me introduce Tony." He pulled Tony to stand half in front of him and put his hand around Tony's waist and started introductions.

"Tony, this is Clint," Bucky said as he pointed to the man farthest to the left. "He and Sam went to college together. Be careful of him tonight, he has the most stoic poker face I've ever seen."

Tony interrupted, "Ah, by the look on his face, I can see the games have already begun."

The next man in line held in a laugh and extended his hand, "Oh yeah, you're gonna fit right in here. I'm Phil, stoic's husband." He nodded in Clint's direction, "Nice to meet you."

Bucky points to the final man in the row, "And this is Thor. Steve and I went to high school with him, he was an exchange student from Norway."

"Norway, huh?" Tony questioned as they shook hands. "Long way to come for a poker game."

"Actually, I moved to the states to attend college and met my wife. Never went back."

"Speaking of, where is Jane tonight?" Bucky interjected.

"Home. She said something about there being too much testosterone in one place."

Sam called from across the room, "Even with Clint here to bring the average down?"

"What the fuck," complained Clint, "Is it pick on Clint day?"

Phil and Bucky spoke in unison, "Everyday is pick on Clint day."

"Stevie not here yet?" Bucky asked.

Sam's wife walked up to the group, "His train was late, he should be here shortly." She turned to Tony. "It's nice to finally meet you, I'm Natasha, Sam's wife."

"Oh I forgot you two haven't met yet," Bucky stated. 

Tony reached out and grabbed Natasha's hand and kissed it. "A rose amongst the thorns, I see."

"You got yourself a sweet talker, huh Bucky?" Natasha said in a sly tone.

Natasha turned back to Tony and her face went straight. "Fair warning, don't let my looks fool you, I'll be out for blood tonight."

Sam walked up to the group, "She's serious about that."

"Duly noted." acknowledged Tony.

It took about fifteen minutes until a new voice entered the room, "I know, I know, I'm on cleanup duty tonight."

"Stevie!" Bucky crossed the distance between them and wrapped him in a bear hug. "Missed you brother."

"Oh, me too, Buck,” Steve said, patting Bucky on the back.

"How's Peg and the baby?"

"Fantastic. Except Olivia is not a baby anymore, she's going to be two next month.”

"I miss that little fart. She's gonna be a heartbreaker that one."

"Don't I know it. She has me wrapped around her little finger."

Tony walked up behind Bucky. "So you're the infamous Steve. James has told me so much about you. I'm Tony by the way," he reached out to shake Steve's hand.

Steve gave a questioning look to Bucky as he slowly extended his hand. "What exactly have you been telling him, Buck?"

Bucky shook his head, "Nothing but the truth, Steve."

Steve put his head down in fake indignation, "Shit. So much for making a good impression."

Tony put his other hand over top of their shaking hands and nodding in Bucky’s direction, "I'd say that keeping this one here out of jail leaves a mighty good first impression."

"Ah, so he has your number too, hey?". Steve said laughing at his best friend.

Bucky shook his head, “Every digit.”

Just then, Natasha spoke above the group, “Alright, let's get this game started, boys, As it is, we are almost a half hour behind on the launch of the Natasha's Caribbean Cruise fund.”

“The Carribean?” asked Sam. “I can get behind that.”

“I’m sorry,” said Natasha. “Did I say it was the Sam and Natasha Caribbean Cruise fund?”

“Baby, don’t play me like that.” Sam joked as he followed her to the table.

They played poker and drank, laughing and telling stories to each other for hours. Every once in a while Bucky would catch Tony’s eye and smile. It amazed Bucky how well Tony fit in with his strange group of friends. Even though they were on different ends of the social spectrum, the entire group just clicked.

“Buck. It’s your bet.” Steve jostled Bucky out of his own head,

“Sorry, zoned out for a minute.”

“Tony just raised you $50. Call, raise or fold?” Steve asked, holding the deck in his hand.

Bucky looked curiously at Tony. “I’ll call his fifty alright and raise another fifty.”

Bucky threw his chips into the center of the pile.

“Pretty confident over there aren’t you sweetheart,” Tony winked at him. “What do you have left in front of you over there?”

Bucky counts his chips “About two-fifty.” 

Tony nodded. “Okay. I’ll see your fifty and raise you two-fifty.”

A collective “oooh” comes from the group as Bucky studies Tony for a minute. 

“Call if you think you think you have the better hand,” Tony taunted.

“Oh yeah, you are definitely bluffing, I’m all in.”

“Show ‘em guys.” Steve instructed.

Bucky flipped his cards over, revealing a pair of threes. 

“You bet over three hundred dollars on a pair of threes? Are you nuts?” cried Clint.

“Well let's check my sanity, shall we? Flip your cards Tony,” Bucky crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.

Tony flipped his cards one at a time. The first four cards indicated a ten high straight but when he flipped the last card over, it was the two of hearts, not the six that he needed to complete the straight.

“Guess you can’t win ‘em all,” Tony smiled, obviously amused by the turn of events.

Bucky grinned, “I’m going to take this as my cue and call it a night. What do you think Tony?”

“I think it's been a pleasure and now I need to walk out with my tail between my legs.”

“Well there goes my trip to the Caribbean, I guess.“ Natasha said, defeated, tossing her the cards to the center of the table. “Never liked the heat anyway.”

“Steve, you coming back to my place?” Bucky asked.

“Can’t. Got clean-up duty, remember?”

“He can stay with us tonight,” Sam offered since their apartment was above the bar.

Bucky gave a thumbs up and said, “Okay, give me a call tomorrow and we’ll do dinner and then you can crash at my place. Tony has to head to Toyoko for business tomorrow afternoon.”

Bucky and Tony finished saying their goodbyes and headed out the door. When they reached Bucky’s car, Tony leaned up against the car door.

“How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That I was bluffing? How did you know?” Tony insisted.

“Everybody has tells, Tony.”

“I know that - Sam taps his pinky finger when he has a good hand and Natasha’s won’t look you in the eyes. Clint was a tough one to figure out but when he's bluffing he starts talking politics.”

Bucky nodded his head, “I think that he thinks it is distracting to try to start an argument, because it's not always politics, depending on his audience. And poor Steve always hems and haws like he doesn’t know if he should bet or not, even when he is sitting on a Royal Flush.”

Tony rounded out the group. “That leaves Thor and Phil. Thor has no idea how to play poker so he doesn’t count. And let's face it, Phil is an open book. He gets so excited when he has a good hand, a blind man with hearing difficulties would be able to pick up on those cues. But me? I do not have a cue James.”

“Yes you do doll,” Bucky got closer and pinned Tony to the side of the car. “You play with your ring when you have something really good.” Bucky pointed to the jeweled ring on Tony’s right hand.

“That is a fake tell - I do that on purpose! I use that ploy all night until a really big hand, and if I have nothing, whalla, I play with my ring and everyone thinks that I have a winning hand and fold. You should have thought my hand was better than a lousy pair of threes.”

“I knew it was a fake tell Tony. You see, your fake tell is to turn your ring on your finger.” Bucky lifted Tony’s hand and demonstrated a rocking back and forth of Tony’s ring around his finger. 

“But when you really have a good hand, you move your ring up and down on your finger, like this.” Bucky moved Tony’s ring to the knuckle and back to show him.

“Son of a gun. Here I thought I was so smart.”

“You're the smartest man I know Tony, I just am really good at this.” He stepped back and grabbed the door handle to the car.

Tony asked as he slid into the car. Bucky shut the door and walked around to the other side. 

“How did you get so good at poker?” Tony asked after Bucky put his seatbelt on.

“Back in the day, when I lived in a group home, it was a weekly event. The older boys used to make the younger kids play. And instead of money, you would bet your weekly chores or desserts, sometimes complete meals. You learned to get good or go without. Or worse, do everyone's chores for the week.” Bucky shrugged his shoulders. “You learned to pick up on things quick.”

“That’s awful.”

“It's not all bad. It's a skill that comes in handy when you are a bartender - I can read people pretty well. I’ve stepped into a few situations where I’m pretty sure if I would have let it go would have resulted in domestic violence. And I've been able to step in when I’ve seen people at their lowest too, when sometimes all a person needed was someone to talk to.”

“So you choose to use your powers for good.” 

“It’s a gift,” Bucky grabbed Tony’s hand over that was sitting in his lap. “Let’s get home, I’ll even take you to breakfast in the morning with my winnings.”

***

"Good morning, love," Tony smiled down at Bucky, sitting next to him on the bed. 

Bucky looked over at Tony, eyes half-lidded. “Hey babe, dressed already? I thought we had some time this morning for breakfast before you left.”

“James, we need to talk.”


	6. Chapter 6

_ James, we need to talk.  _ The phrase rang through his head over and over. The single sentence woke Bucky up as if cold water had been tossed in his face.

"How about you throw something on and meet me in the kitchen?" Tony placed his hand on Bucky's chest then slid it up to caress his jaw. "Okay?"

Bucky looked at Tony and tried reading his face. He saw worry or maybe sadness in the other man's eyes.

"Okay?" Tony repeated.

Bucky nodded his head, "What's wrong, Tony?"

"We'll talk. In the kitchen." Tony patted Bucky's chest, rose and left the room.

Bucky sat for a minute feeling a bit of nausea in his gut. No good conversation ever started with the words, we need to talk. He thought about the past week and wondered what could have happened for this turn of events.

He pulled out a fresh pair of boxers, a pair of sweatpants, and a t-shirt. He pulled on the underwear and pants and started walking out of the bedroom while still putting on the t-shirt. He felt like he was walking to his execution.

When he reached the kitchen, Tony was sitting at the table with two cups of coffee ready. He motioned to Bucky to take the seat across from him.

Bucky sat down slowly, "Is everything okay? 'Cause I have to admit you're scaring me, babe."

Tony had a death grip on his coffee mug as he looked down at it. "I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you a while ago but was too afraid.

"But I need you to just listen until I'm done. I know it's going to be a lot, but please promise to hear me out," Tony pleaded as he held Bucky's gaze. Tony grabbed Bucky's hands that were folded together on the table top. 

Bucky took a worrisome breath, "I promise."

Bucky could have sworn he could hear his own heartbeat. Tony hadn't even begun to tell him anything and he could feel his eyes get glossy with a million thoughts running through his head of what Tony was about to say.

"First," Tony hesitated but continued to keep eye contact, "I need you to know that I love you. I love you with everything that I am. I started falling for you from day one. The time I spend with you makes up for all the other crap that my life hands me."

Bucky's heart soared at hearing this and felt his anxiety ease just a bit. He nodded in response, remembering his promise to Tony to hear him out. But to acknowledge Tony's confession, he flipped his hands over and held Tony's hands tightly and rubbed his thumbs over the back of them.

"This is going to sound bad, but I never wanted to fall in love with you. If you remember, I basically ghosted you after we met, but even then, I couldn't stay away. You were like this whirlwind that just swept into my life and flipped everything upside down. And believe me, if I didn’t love you, this would be so much easier.”

Tony took another deep breath and licked his lips, obviously nervous about continuing.

"Tony, I..." Bucky started not able to hold it in any longer. He felt the anxiety return, thinking Tony was about to tell him that he was married, but Tony interrupted him.

Tony shook his head and continued not letting Bucky finish his thought, "I'm dying, James."

Bucky felt his world crash around him. How could this man, this man with such life and vitality, be dying? His eyebrows furrowed, and he took a gasp of air. "What?”

"I have a heart condition. I've been coming to St Louis for a few years now to see a heart specialist, the best money can buy." Bucky noted the sarcasm in Tony's voice.

"At first, the condition was considered moderate. I had check-ups every six months to determine the progression of my illness. If it got worse, I’d have to shorten the time between visits. The day we met, I was told that the preliminary test results indicated that more than likely it was down to only three months between visits. Which is why I really needed that drink that day. And sure enough when I went back in later that week for the results, that’s exactly what happened. “

Tony looked off into the distance as tears started to fall slowly down his cheek, “I tried to convince myself that I shouldn’t drag you down with me. You’d be better off as me as just a memory. In fact when I sent you that Mustang, it was supposed to be my way of saying goodbye. But then it was time to come back to St.Louis and I couldn’t do it. When the plane landed, I drove straight to find you without a second thought. And as you can see, I never successfully convinced myself to let you go. Selfish to the end, I guess.”

His eyes came back to Bucky. “The best lie I told myself is that you would dump me before we ever had to have this conversation. You know, make you the villain in our story. I’ve figured since I was never good at relationships anyway that you would get tired of, well, me and everything that comes with it. But with every visit, every text, or phone call, you kept proving to me over and over that I mattered to you. Me. Not the shit I could give you, me. Hell, you won’t even let me pay for a damn meal half the time.“

Tony's tears were falling quickly now and his voice was becoming angrier and more broken as he spoke. He wiped the moisture from his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I should have been stronger and let you go.”

He pulled his hands away from Bucky and dropped his face into them, shaking his head and letting the tears flow. Bucky stared at the back of his head, not knowing what to say. His brain was trying to process everything he just heard. He could feel the tears start to gather in his eyes, the hollow feeling in his chest consuming every breath and then a realization hit him. 

“Oh my God, Tony! All the things I’ve made you do over the past few months with a fucking heart condition. The night clubs, the marathon sex sprees, the damn pot, SHIT.” Bucky stood up abruptly, nearly knocking his chair over. “SHIT!” He repeats.

Tony stands up to face Bucky, his crying being replaced by gentle laughter, his head shaking, “Only you, James. I just confess to you that I’ve been lying to you since we met and you basically take responsibility for my disease? Who the hell does that?”

“What do you expect me to do here, doll? Kick you out the door for being sick? Doesn’t change how I feel about you. Do I wish I would have known? Of course, I would have been more responsible with you.”

“But that’s one of the things I didn’t want. I didn’t want you to treat me differently. When people know you have a  _ condition,”  _ Tony spat out, “they treat you with kids gloves. I never wanted to see pity in your eyes.”

Bucky reached up and held Tony’s face, wondering, “So I guess that leaves the question of why are you telling me now?”

“DIng. Ding. That’s the million dollar question isn’t it?” Tony pulled back from Bucky and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I wasn’t going to, to be honest.”

Bucky's face fell, “Then why?”

“I had a conversation with Rhodey yesterday, told him the news and asked him if I was being selfish where you were concerned. He asked me to consider if the roles were reversed between you and I, how would I feel if one day you were gone, no notice, no warning, nothing, My gut feeling was just the emptiness at you being gone - but I figured that would occur whether we just broke up or, you know. But then I let my true feelings come to the forefront. And I realized that I would be so pissed at you for not telling me. To leave me broken and alone with no way to say goodbye, no closure whatsoever. Wasting the time we could have had together. I realized by not telling you that that was the selfish thing. All I would be doing is sparing myself the hurt and leaving it all with you.”

Bucky stood in silence for a moment, “But isn’t there anything else they can do for you? How much time are we talking here?”   


Tony crossed his arms and looked down. “There is an experimental surgery they can try. But if it fails, the chance of death or worse, is too great. Without the surgery, maybe a year.”

“What the fuck is worse than death, Tony?” Bucky's voice started to raise. 

“Have you ever seen the Harrison Ford movie,  _ Regarding Henry _ ?” Tony said quietly.

Bucky shook his head.

“I swear the universe was taunting me. Soon after I found out that things were getting more serious with my heart, I was on a business trip to Malibu. When I got to the hotel that night, I turned the TV on - you know, just for some background noise - and that movie came on and it seemed like a sign. Harrision Ford's character was a lawyer, shot in the head during a robbery. He didn’t die. He went from being the brilliant lawyer to the one everyone felt sorry for because he couldn't process anything above the level of a five year old. I can’t do that. Knowing what I was - how my mind used to work - that's worse than death to me.”

“But Tony, if there is a chance, no matter how small, shouldn’t you take it?” Bucky begged.

“I still have a little time to reconsider. At my next appointment, I have to give a final decision. I lovingly refer to it as my ‘drop dead date.’”

“That’s not funny, Tony.”

“I have to laugh or cry, James. And I just got done crying so…” Tony trailed off.

Bucky shook his head, a single tear falling from his eyes. “What exactly do you mean your final decision?”

“If I want to have the surgery, I have to decide by then. If I wait any longer, the damage will be too great to overcome, surgery is no longer on the table.” Tony took a shallow breath, “ But I’m pretty sure what my decision will be.”

“So is this it then? Is that why you are all dressed and ready to leave? Unburden yourself and leave me to pick up the pieces?” Bucky was screaming now.

“God no, James. Not at all,” Tony crossed the space between them and grabbed Bucky’s hands. “A minute ago, you said I know how you feel about me. Tell me, so I know for sure.”

“I’m not exactly a closed book. I love you, Tony. You’ve been it for me since you walked into the bar.”

Tony smiled that million dollar smile that all but healed Bucky’s breaking heart. “I have one more thing to say to you. A question actually. But I don’t want you to answer me now. In fact, as soon as I ask you, I’m going to walk out that door, take my business trip to Tokyo and then go back to New York and wait for you. While I’m gone, I want you to really consider what I ask you, which is why I am giving you so much time.”

“What if I know the answer to your question already?” Bucky said.

“I don’t want the answer to be based on this conversation. And I don't want you to feel guilty, or pressured by me just staring at you begging for an answer, it's too important. Do you understand?”

“Okay.”

“Do you remember when I told you that I never met anyone that I was willing to reorganize my life for?”

Bucky nodded.

“I can’t say that anymore. You are the person I would change everything for, if I could. If you want me to leave everything behind to live the rest of my days in Timbuktu, I would. When I wake in the morning and see you laying next to me, it takes my breath away. I have never been this happy in my life. But I had to lay everything out for you so you could make an informed decision. I know I want to spend whatever time I have left with you. You know, take a page out of your book, enjoy the limited time we have left. And when I’m gone, no one, including you, will ever doubt how much you meant to me. James Buchanan Barnes, will you marry me?”


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as he finished speaking, Tony placed a soft kiss on Bucky’s lips. He then stroked Bucky’s cheek with the palm of his hand and whispered, “I love you.” Then true to his word, he turned and walked out the door.

Bucky wanted to run after him and finish this conversation, to give him an answer. But he also knew he had to respect Tony’s wishes and consider his future. He knew he loved Tony and the best moments of his life were when they were together. But as he thought about their time together, he couldn’t help but think how Tony had kept this from him. 

All those meetings were really doctors appointments and tests. His power naps, necessary because of the regime of medical procedures necessary to evaluate his heart. All the little things started to make sense to Bucky now. 

He walked into the living room and plopped himself on the couch. His mind switched back and forth between Tony’s illness and the proposal. The best and the worst things that could have happened in his life, came together in one moment. As he sat on the couch, he could feel the ache in his stomach magnify. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and started to silently cry.

He heard the back door open again and immediately thought Tony had returned. He stood up and called out, “Tony?”

“Hey Buck.” It was Steve. “Did Tony leave already? I was hoping we could all go out for breakfast.”

When Steve’s eyes met Bucky’s face, it was apparent he had been crying. “Oh, my God Bucky. What’s wrong? Is it Tony?”

Bucky didn’t know how to answer. He mind still trying to process the conversation with Tony, “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” Bucky said dryly.

Steve’s face shifted into a concerned look. “Okay, I’ll bite. Give me the good news first.”

Bucky looked down and laughed under his breath, shaking his head. “Tony proposed to me this morning.”

Steve's face relaxed, “Oh my God. Buck - that’s great news! Did you say yes? Wait, please tell me these are happy tears you’ve been shedding here.”

Bucky shook his head.

“You said no? Why?”

Bucky stared at him. “I didn’t say anything, he asked me to think about it.”

“But you’re going to, right? I mean you two are great together, I’ve never seen you happier.”

“Unfortunately, that’s where the bad news comes in.”

“How bad can it be? Unless he’s already married. Tell me he’s not already married, Bucky.” Steve’s face growing with concern

“I wish it was that good Stevie,” Bucky sat back down on the couch and put his head in his hands.

“What is it then?”

Bucky lifted his head to look at Steve. “He’s dying Steve.”

“Oh my God.” Steve gasped. “What? How?”

Bucky told Steve what Tony had told him just over an hour ago. The story is broken up by little sobs that Bucky couldn’t control. When he is done, Steve just puts his arm around Bucky and holds him.

“I love him.” Bucky finally breaks the silence.

“I know.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t understand. You need to be there for him.”

“But he wants an answer to his question. Somewhere in the back of my head, I think he's asking out of a false sense of obligation.”

“What, like a pity proposal? What even is that?”

“I don’t know!” Bucky screamed. “You know, like a ‘sorry I didn’t tell you and hey we might as well get married because I’m not going to be around anyway so don’t be mad.’” The sarcasm now drips from his words.

“Do you even hear yourself?” You’re being ridiculous.”

“I know that, don’t you think I know that?” Bucky screamed even louder. 

Bucky’s face dropped, “What am I supposed to do without him? It's not fair, we only got started.”

“I’m so sorry Bucky. You’re right, it's not fair.”

“Why won’t he even try the surgery? I’m just supposed to watch him die?”

“Isn’t that his decision?”

Bucky just shook his head. The silence in the roof was deafening.

“Did you eat breakfast yet?” Steve asked.

Bucky shook his head again.

“Come on, let's get out of here.”

After breakfast, they ended up walking around the Citygarden, just as they used to do. Steve did his best to try and get Bucky’s mind off things for a while, but Bucky remained silent for most of the afternoon, deep in thought.

He wanted to say yes to Tony. To live the rest of their days wrapped in each other's arms and ignore the disease that was taking Tony away from him. But that would be a stupid childish fantasy he knew. 

But what if he said no? He knows he could never walk away from Tony, leave him when he needed him the most, But marriage? What about when it was over, what would he be then? Someone to be pitied. A widower, the word replayed in his mind, time and time again.

“When is Tony coming back from Tokyo?” Steve interrupted Bucky’s thoughts.

Bucky shook his head trying to clear it, “He should be back in New York by the end of next week.”

“Any closer to a decision?”

“Nope. Can we not talk about it for a while? I have to give my brain a rest.”

“Sure thing, Buck. Hey, why don’t you come back to Chicago for the week, you know visit Peg and Olivia. They’d love to see you and it can help take your mind off things.”

“I don’t know, Steve. I don’t think I’d be very good company.”

“You act like you were good company before.”. Steve replies, nudging Bucky's shoulder with his own.

Bucky finally cracks a smile. “Funny, Steve. Funny.”

***

“Hey man,” Sam said to Bucky as he walked into the bar that night. “Steve told me about Tony. That’s a raw deal.”

Bucky nodded his head, not knowing what to say anymore.

“Did Steve tell you I’m going up to Chicago with him for a while? I’m not sure when I am coming back.”

“Whatever you need Bucky. I’m sure the other guys would appreciate the prime shifts you get.” said Sam, trying to inject some levity.

“You might want to see if you can get someone to cover my shift tonight. I thought this would be a good distraction but I can already tell it won’t work. I’ll just keep waiting for Tony to walk through the door.”

“Do you mind if I throw my two cents worth in before you go? Steve told me you were on the fence about what to do.”

“Why the fuck not,” Bucky sighed.

“Steve mentioned something about a pity proposal. You know that's bullshit, right?". Sam paused waiting for acknowledgement. "I never told you what the deal was between me and Tony because he asked me not to but maybe you should know.”

Bucky sat on one of the barstools, looking intently at Sam.

Sam continued, “At first, Tony offered to cover your salary for the times he was in town. I know I probably shouldn't have accepted it but when you have a literal billionaire in front of you offering you cash, when most days you are trying to stay afloat by rubbing two nickels together, it seemed like a no brainer. 

"I told you he called me before he'd come into town so I could change the schedule? Well we ended up shooting the shit for a while. Before I knew it we were discussing this place and how at times it seems like a money pit. Did you know, I actually thought about selling a while back, getting a real job and let someone else have a go at this? Was getting tired of barely getting by.

"The next thing I knew, he bought this building. Said that the rent was no longer an issue. He’s the one that has been doing all the upgrades to the building, not me. The new fixtures, the renovation to the bathrooms, all of it was him. In fact, he said he was putting in a provision that if anything happened to him, the building would be signed over to me. Crazy, huh? Especially knowing what I know now. Do you know what he asked for in return?”

Bucky shook his head. 

“Absolutely nothing, just the time with you. I mean, come on, investment opportunity?" Sam gestured at the bar. "A run down bar not even in downtown? Even I'm not that stupid. 

"But he didn’t want you to know about any of this, the magnitude of what he was doing just to be with you, thought it made him sound pathetic. But you know what I see? A good guy doing what he can for those he cares about and a guy so far gone on you that he'd move heaven and earth for you. And you deserve that kind of love, Buck, if even for a little while.”

Bucky felt his eyes get misty. He knew Tony's involvement with the bar wasn't the business opportunity that he had made it out to be. He would have been a fool to think that, but he never stopped to think about it. But to know it went even farther than that spoke volumes. 

He knew Sam was right. Everything that Tony had done had been for him. In some weird way, he knew it was Tony's way of taking care of him, even after he was gone. “Thanks for telling me Sam.”

Bucky walked through the front door of his house about an hour later with a plan formulated in his head.

"What are you doing back so soon?" Bucky had forgotten that Steve was staying with him until tomorrow.

"I'm going. I'm going to New York. I need to be there when he gets back. But first I need to make a phone call."

"Who are you calling?

"I'll let you know everything once I get it sorted out. Promise."


	8. Chapter 8

Bucky took the train back to Chicago with Steve. He stayed for a couple days, starting to put his plan into action. He had to admit, being around Steve and his family felt good. Who knows, if things didn’t work out maybe he'd move up here after all.

"Are you sure about this Bucky?" Steve asked for what seemed the hundredth time as he dropped him off at the train station.

"Stevie, I have to do it this way.”

"Yeah I know, but what if it doesn't work? You'll both be hurting then."

"You got a better idea?" Bucky asked and then gave Steve a big bear hug and patted him on the back.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" Bucky walked away and boarded the train. As he watched the scenery go by he could feel the nervousness hit him. Everything had to go to plan...it just had to.

***

Bucky stood in Tony's penthouse staring out the window. He had contacted Pepper, Tony's personal assistant, before he left for Chicago to get her on board with what he was planning. She had arranged for Bucky to get access to Tony's home and everything else he needed. So there he stood, nervously waiting for Tony to walk in the door.

Bucky heard the elevator door open and his heart began to pound. He was ready though, he could do this, he tried to convince himself. He tugged on the hem of his suit jacket and turned around to greet Tony.

"Hey there handsome," Bucky grinned as Tony rounded the corner to his living room. 

Tony's eyes got as big as saucers, obviously surprised by his presence. "James. Oh my God." 

Tony dropped his briefcase and started to cross the room meeting Bucky half way. Bucky wrapped his arms around Tony, holding him tight and drawing him into a kiss.

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked breathlessly, holding Bucky's face in his hands.

Bucky pulled Tony's hands from his face and held onto them. "You told me when you got back, you'd be waiting, and I figured you'd waited long enough."

"But James, my plane only landed an hour ago."

"Sorry I took so long." Bucky’s voice low.

Tony started biting his lower lip. "Does this mean you have an answer for me?"

"No beating around the bush for you, hey?"

"Well as you know I don't have a lot of time to waste."

Bucky looked down to the floor. 

"Too soon? Sorry, I get sarcastic when I'm nervous."

"Nervous a lot then?" Bucky tried to joke back.

Tony made a face back at him and got serious again, "Should we sit for this?"

"Nope, I want to look at you face to face while we talk.'

"Shit, I feel more sarcasm coming on."

Bucky stroked Tony's right arm. "Relax. Because no matter what happens as a result of our conversation right now, I’ll be here for you. There is nowhere else I could possibly be but by your side. But it's going to be up to you whether it's as your husband or not."

Tony nodded, bracing himself for what he was about to hear.

"I love you Tony. More than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being. You're like a puzzle piece that has been missing my entire life. There's nothing I would like more than to spend the rest of our time together as your husband.”

Bucky saw Tony's face change from nervous to relieved and then put his hand up, "Wait Tony, let me finish." Tony’s face contorted again.

"When you proposed, you told me that you would do anything I asked of you. I believe your exact wording was you'd move to Timbuktu. Whereas I hear it's a lovely vacation spot, there's only one thing that I will ever want from you.

"I want you to have the surgery. If there's even the slightest chance of one more year, one more month or hell, even just one more day, it’d be a day we spend together. I would never be able to forgive myself if we didn't at least try. If you were to die and I didn't do everything in my power to keep you with me, it would haunt me forever. I’ve never considered myself a selfish person, but this is what I need. I don’t just want you Tony, I need you.

“I understand what you're frightened of babe. I actually watched that dumbass movie of yours. But speaking of, did you actually watch it to the end? They lived happily ever after,” Bucky searched Tony’s eyes, “And we will too.

"Now you gave me plenty of time and space to think about my answer. But doll, I'm not that generous. I'm going to sit here and look you in the eyes and wait for your decision. I know I said guilt trips aren't my style, but desperate times call for desperate measures and this is as desperate as I get. So now it's your turn. Look at me. Look at me and tell me that you're not going to give me the one thing that I want more than anything in the whole world."

Tony took a deep breath and tried to turn his head to look in the distance. But Bucky stopped him and redirected Tony’s face back to him. “I need you to look at me.”

Tony nodded, "So let me get this straight, if I don't agree to the surgery, you'll still stay?

"Of course I will Tony. That was never the question, was it?"

Bucky watched as Tony gave miniscule shakes of his head. Tony started to speak a few times but no words came out.

“You win James, but if I die from this surgery, I’m never speaking to you again.”

Bucky grabbed Tony and swung him around in a circle. “You mean it babe?”

“Yeah, I mean it.”

Bucky put him back down and kissed him hard. “I love you so much.”

“We’ll see how much you love me when you are tying my shoes for the rest of my life.”

“I’ll get you slip-ons, they’re easier,” Bucky joked as he pulled Tony back into his arms.

“You are an asshole, James.”

“Soon I’ll legally be your asshole,” Bucky kissed him again.

Bucky then broke from Tony’s kiss and yelled into the empty room, “HE SAID YES!”

At that moment, a flood of people entered from the other room. Tony stood speechless watching all his and Bucky’s friends join them to celebrate the news. Steve and his family, Sam and Natasha along with Clint and Phil were all there. They each came up to them in turn to offer hugs and congratulations.

“Rhodey? Pep? I can’t believe you are here.” He then turned to Bucky, “What’s going on?”

Bucky smiled down at him, “If you think for one minute that I’m going to let you reconsider this you are insane.”

Sam walks up to them. “Are you ready to get this show on the road?”

Bucky smiled at him and then at Tony. “Sam is going to be our officiant. We are getting married right now.” 

Pepper came up to them. “It's all set, Bucky.” She then hugged Bucky as tight as she could as she whispered in his ear, “Thank you.”

“You and Pepper seem to be like old friends.” Tony questioned.

Bucky laughed, “You make secret deals with my friends behind my back, I make secret deals with yours.”

Tony’s head snapped to look at Sam, “Traitor.”

“Hey, I did  _ not  _ make out in this deal,” Sam complained. “I’m losing my best bartender.”

Bucky looked at Pepper, “Can you give us ten minutes so Tony and I can freshen up and we’ll meet you in the garden?”

“Of course.”

Bucky took Tony’s hand and led him down the hall to the bedroom. Inside the room hung a suit that matched the one Bucky was wearing; the only difference was the color of the tie and pocket square. Bucky’s was blue while Tony’s was accented with red.

“How on earth did you get all of this together?”

“You're right, Pepper is an amazing assistant. She did everything. She ordered the suits, got the license, hired someone to decorate your garden for us and even made all the travel arrangements for everyone.”

“You know when I gave you her number, it was for emergencies only”

Bucky got quiet and spoke sincerely, “It was a matter of life or death, Tony.”

“I guess that’s valid. But I need to know. You seemed pretty confident that I would agree with you. What made you so sure?”

“Oh doll,” Bucky held him. “I knew you’d never disappoint me.”

“I hope I never do.”

“I’m counting on it.. Now get changed, we have a rooftop full of people waiting on us.”


	9. Chapter 9

The wedding was simple, but beautiful. The love apparent in each move and word spoken between Bucky and Tony. Steve stood as Bucky's witness while Rhodey stood with Tony. It was followed by dinner and dancing for the intimate group.

"This was absolutely perfect. Thank you." Tony said as he danced with his arms around his new husband. 

"Don't thank me. It may have been my grand scheme but Pepper did all the leg work."

"I know but with everything that's going on -"

"Nope," Bucky interrupted him, "we're not going to talk about that tonight. Tonight is just about you and me. This is the beginning of the rest of our lives and it deserves to be treasured. Tomorrow we can worry and plan and all the other crap we need to do. But tonight, tonight is for us."

Tony smiled up at Bucky, "I knew there was a reason I married you. I love you James Barnes."

"Excuse me, but that's James Stark now."

"Really? You're going to change your name?" Tony questioned, obviously surprised.

"That's okay with you, right? I mean, I know we didn't talk about it - not like we had the chance or anything, but yeah, it seems right." Bucky gripped Tony even closer, "Besides, I want the whole world to know I'm yours."

"Nothing would make me happier, my love." 

When the music stopped Tony grabbed Bucky’s hand to lead him back to their table. “When do you think we can blow this popsicle stand? I’m dying to get that suit off you,” Tony whispered into Bucky's ear. 

Bucky put his hand on Tony’s biceps, “Babe, you own this popsicle stand.”

“Damn, you're right. We can kick these leeches out.”

“Tony, we can’t kick them out, they all came a long way for us.”

“Well show’s over darling. Chop, chop.”

“Just so you know, they won’t be going far. I had the guest suites made up for them.”

“They’re staying?” Tony grumbled. “Don’t get me wrong, I love them all - well, I like Clint a lot but anyway - I have definite plans for my husband and me...starting very, very soon.”

Tony grabbed Bucky’s tie and pulled him in for a passionate kiss. Bucky’s mind went blank and all he could feel was where Tony’s lips met his. Even with a roomful of people, they were the only two in the world.

“Meet me downstairs in 15 minutes? I’ll take care of this.” Bucky said as he motioned to the party going on behind him.

“Okay,“ Tony winked and turned around to leave. “I’ll be in the shower.”

“I’ll be there in 10.”

***

“Good morning, babe.” Bucky walked into their bedroom carrying a tray of food.

Tony opened his eyes halfway, stretched and sat up in bed. “Hmmm. If I knew you were going to treat me like this, I would…: Tony paused as he looked at the food. “What the hell is this?”

“This, my dearest husband, is a healthy breakfast. Here we have oatmeal, or Cheerios, whichever you prefer because I hear they are both heart healthy. A side of fruit and some decaf coffee.”

“First, we are going to just ignore the fact that you brought decaf coffee into my room, my temple”

“Our room, our temple,” corrected Bucky.

“Our room, my mistake.” Tony nodded at Bucky in acknowledgement, “But oatmeal and fruit? You know I live for my waffles with syrup in all those little pockets.”

“And I live for you, so I win.”

“One day, it's been one day and you’re already telling me what to do.”

Bucky knew that Tony was joking around, but it seemed like a perfect lead into the discussion they avoided yesterday. He set the tray of food down on the side table and reached over and held Tony’s hand.

“Pepper sent me a few links to articles about your heart condition. So I started doing a little research on my own. And granted, there's nothing we can do to stop the progression of this, but there are a few things we can do to slow it down. And if we can slow it down, even a little, we can push back your surgery.”

“And we will James, but it's our honeymoon.”

“Do you not remember yesterday?”

“Oh my God. Did you slip the word obey in our vows? Did I zone out? How did I miss that?”

“Very funny Tony. We said we’d talk and sort out everything tomorrow, which means today. I don’t want much, just a few minor things.”

“How minor?”

“Little stuff. You know, a healthier diet for one. But I can compromise. Once a week, you can  eat waffles and syrup.

“Twice,” Tony countered.

“Once.”

“You suck. What else?”

“Exercise.” 

Tony smirked, “I’ll do cardio every day. Promise. Next.”

“You need to tell me when you're tired. You work too hard, I need you to pull back, at least for a while.”

Tony grimaced. “Well that's not really going to be a problem for a while.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our trip to Tokyo. It was to share with our business partners that Pepper was taking over the company as CEO, you know, until I decided on my course of treatment, which of course is now decided.”   


“I'm sorry, Tony. I know how much your company means to you.”

Tony gave a sad smile. “Hey, who knows, maybe this will all work out fine and I’ll go back. It’s okay. I knew it was coming.”

“I’m sorry, but I got one more thing.”

Tony flopped back onto his pillows. “Oh my God, will it never end?”

Bucky smiled, stood up and reached over for the coffee cup on the tray. “Last one,” He hands the coffee to Tony. “Decaf.”

“Fuck.”

***

Over the next month, Tony took Bucky on a trip to Europe. At first Bucky fought the idea. His point being that it was going to be too much exertion for Tony. But Tony had promised to be mindful of how he felt and rest when he needed to. And when Tony pleaded with him, with those big doe eyes, explaining how they needed something normal in their lives right now, Bucky couldn’t say no.

Bucky had to admit, Tony was right. They took their time travelling around and even spent the last week in Italy at Tony’s villa. It was exactly what they needed to put the surgery out of their mind. 

They had briefly talked about staying a while longer, but Tony had to host the upcoming Maria Stark Foundation gala. He decided it would be wrong to miss it, since it might be his last opportunity. 

“Just so you know, it's going to be a madhouse when we arrive. I’m sure all the paparazzi and the society snobs have caught wind of our marriage by now,” Tony explained as they sat in the back of the limo on the way to the event.

Bucky squeezed his hand, “I’ll be fine.”

Tony looked over at him, “I have no doubt you will. Maybe I should warn  _ them _ .”

Entering the gala proved to be a bit of a challenge when the paparazzi crowded around the limo after they approached, but Tony held tight to Bucky’s hand and walked into the venue flashing his killer smile and waving his hand to the crowd. Never once answering any of the hundreds of questions hurled their way.

Once inside, Tony pardoned himself to attend to some Foundation business. Bucky decided to stand by the corner of the bar and observe the room. He chuckled to himself as he looked at the bartender, thinking that was him not too long ago. How weird was it that this was his life now? 

As he stood, waiting for Tony to return, he couldn’t help but overhear the conversation of two middle age women standing at the bar next to him waiting for their drinks.

“Have you seen him yet?” A woman with long blonde hair asked. She was wearing a low cut dress that announced to everyone how spectacular she thought her breasts were.

“No, but I saw Tony walking the other way not that long ago so he has to be here somewhere.” This time it was the brunette speaking as she turned to look around again.

“I can’t believe he would marry someone like that and so soon. You know they say that Tony picked him up in some bar. In the midwest no less.” The blonde wrinkled her nose.

“He must be really good in bed to snag up Stark like that.” The women laughed.

Bucky couldn’t help but interject. “You know what I heard? I heard that he was a hooker. Tony paid for his services.”

Both women gasped, “No!”

“I didn’t hear that, “ said the blonde.

“What didn’t you hear, Rebecca?” Tony said as he came up behind Bucky and placed a kiss on his lips.

“Sorry I took so long my love. I see you have met Rebecca and Linda. Two of the foundation's most generous contributors.“ Tony took Rebecca’s and LInda’s hands in turn and kissed each of them respectively. “Ladies, this is my husband, James.”

Both women had looks of absolute shock and embarrassment on their faces. They attempted to form some excuse, Bucky was sure, but he cut them off before they could.

“Yes, Rebecca and Linda were just telling me how they were going to double their contributions this year due to all the good work the foundation is doing.” He turned to the women, “Isn’t that right, ladies?”

“Um, yes, of course,” Linda managed to say. “Fantastic work you're doing with the foundation.”

Tony eyed Bucky suspiciously and turned back to the women, “Thank you for your generosity again this year. We couldn’t do it without the support of people like you.”

At that moment the bartender delivered the drinks to the women. “Would you excuse us Tony, we were just about to bid on some of the silent auction items.”

“Of course,” Tony smiled at them. “Don’t let us keep you. Bid high.”

As they watched the women depart, Tony turned to Bucky, “Do I even want to know?” 

“I’ll tell you later.” Bucky laughed.

“What did you do?” 

Bucky winked, “Me, doll? Absolutely nothing.”

“Come on darling, let’s go dance. You can tell me everything.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading. I appreciate your kudos and comments. Hope you enjoyed it!!

"What happened between you and Scott?" Tony asked Bucky as they lay entwined together in Bucky's bed. They had travelled back to St Louis earlier in the week for more tests and now Tony has assumed his favorite position, in the crook of Bucky's arm.

It was the night before Tony's surgery and they spent most of the evening wrapped in each other's arms. Neither one of them were really talking about the event scheduled for tomorrow but rather savoring each moment they had.

"My ex?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I was just curious."

"I ain't got no problem telling you, doll. Just know that I don't come out looking very good."

Tony shifted so he could look Bucky in the face. "I find that hard to believe."

Bucky sighed, "We divorced because of his drug use."

"How does that…" Bucky held up his hand to stop Tony's sentence.

"It was because he  _ stopped _ using them."

"Excuse me?"

"Told ya." Bucky frowned while Tony stared at him with a confused look. 

"There has to be more to that story. That doesn't sound like you."

"Ya, but that's the story everyone Scott tells hears."

"And your side?"

"It was a little more complicated than that, I guess. I mean, it's not like he was a big drug user or anything, but usually on the weekends he'd do a little somethin'. Just to blow off steam from the week. He had a pretty hectic schedule so I didn't think it was any big deal.

"One day, he told me he wasn't going to do it anymore. I was all for it. I figured, good for him, ya know? But then things changed between us. Little stuff at first like arguments about socks on the floor or no milk in the fridge. But then everything escalated. I felt I was walking on eggshells whenever we were together. I have my suspicions that maybe he had been using more than he originally let on.

"Anyway, it all fell apart rather quickly. I didn't know him anymore and I don't think he really liked me anymore so that was that." Bucky paused. "Why do you ask? I mean, why now?"

"I just wanted to know because when I wake up after the surgery tomorrow and this…" Tony motioned between the two of them, "is on a grander time scale, I don't want to make the same mistake he did. I never want to lose you, darling."

Bucky held Tony tightly, thinking about what Tony had just said. He didn't know if it was because for the first time, Tony has been optimistic about the surgery or if it was the thought of spending the rest of their lives together that made him smile. 

"Oh babe, not possible." Bucky stroked Tony's cheek and kissed him. Bucky could feel his heart flutter as he placed his lips on his husband's lips.

****

"Here, the nurse gave me some of those slipper socks. Stick your feet out." Bucky gently took Tony's feet, one at a time, and slipped them on and then pulled the covers back over Tony.

"Why is it so cold in here anyway? They give you these thin ass blankets and gowns with no fucking backs and expect you not to turn into a frozen banana.

"And no coffee, James. Not even that sewage you call decaf. You'd think on my last day on earth I could have a damn cup of coffee!"

"Nervous, hey?"

"What?" Searching back to the conversation they had about how he handles nerves. "Oh, sorry."

"Don't apologise babe. I'm feeling it too.". Bucky sat on the edge of the bed near Tony's chest, grabbing his hand. "But at least we squeezed an extra month out of it."

Bucky and Tony had been diligent with his health care and they were able push back the surgery for another full month. In turn, they celebrated by a small, but impressive, increase in Tony's cardio routine, in which Tony was only too happy to oblige.

"But it was February, dear. The shortest fucking month of the year. Why didn't I get May or August?" Tony grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"We're mad at the calendar now?". Bucky gave Tony a half smile and put his arms around Tony's shoulder, rubbing gently.

"February."

"I know." Bucky leaned down and kissed Tony's head.

Tony spoke first and slightly turned to Bucky to pull him away from the bed so they could be face to face. "The nurses are going to be here soon. I need to say something before I go."

Bucky shook his head, "Tony, I …"

"Please, let me."

Bucky nodded and took a steadying breath.

"I’ve had a marvelous time with you. I wouldn't have changed a thing except for marrying you sooner. You have given my life a reason, really. For that I will be forever grateful. No matter what.

"I'm not saying that this is the end. Because deep in my heart, I feel it's not. But then again, my heart sucks so what the hell does it know?" Tony stopped. "Sorry, still nervous."

Tony searched Bucky's eyes. "I'm just trying to say I love you. Thank you for being my husband." He kissed Bucky softly and rubbed his arm.

"But in case this is it, and you're not cursed to live with me until we're old and grey, " Tony quietly chuckled and just as quickly turned solemn again, "First, no guilt. I know you James Stark. You will try to blame yourself for forcing me to have this surgery. And you know damn well that nobody can truly make me do anything that I don't want to do. This is my choice. Okay?"

Bucky nodded.

"I need to hear you say it, my love."

"No guilt. Your choice." Bucky said robotically.

"Good. Now second, I need a favor from you. You need to promise me to enjoy your life. Do everything, see everything just as if I were there. Because I will be James, just as you will always be with me. No matter what. You've given me everything and now all I have is yours. No more hooking for you." 

Tony laughs at his own joke through tears and reaches up to wipe the tear he sees drop from Bucky's eye. Bucky tried to laugh as well but ended up with even more tears falling. 

"Oh babe," Bucky said, "it's going to be fine, I swear. We are going to get through today. You'll let me spoil you while you get better and then we will enjoy the rest of our lives together. That's what I promise."

"Okay," Tony said sadly, trying to accept Bucky's promise as truth.

"Ready to go Mr. Stark?" A dark haired nurse with an orderly right behind her entered the room. She slid the mobile IV stand closer to the bed to remove the bag and place it on Tony's bed.

"Ready as I'll ever be." He gave a squeeze to Bucky’s hand.

They start to push Tony's bed out of the room but not before Tony looks back at Bucky and smiles and mouths “I love you.”

Bucky calls out, "I love you too, babe. I'll be right here when you get back."

When the door shuts behind them, Bucky drops into the chair and tries to remember to breathe.

***

Six to ten hours the doctor had told him. Who the hell needs a four hour buffer, Bucky thinks to himself. It had been nearly seven and a half hours since Tony had been taken to surgery, while he sat in the surgical waiting room, alone.

They had agreed that it would be best if this day remained private between the two of them. Tony had said his goodbyes to Rhodey and Pepper before they left for St, Louis and thought if they were there too, it would be too emotional. Likewise, Bucky told his friends that he would prefer this time to himself. He knew that if they were here, he would feel the need to keep up appearances and basically, he did not have the energy to do that.

As it was, it seemed like their friends had developed a schedule of their own. One of them called every hour to check if there was any news and give Bucky at least five minutes of distraction. He looked at the clock on the wall. It would be time for one of them to be calling soon.

As soon as he heard the phone ring at exactly half past the hour, he knew it must be Pepper. Only she would be precise down the minute.

“Hi Pepper.”

“Hey Bucky. Any news?”

“Um, one of the surgical nurses came in about 2 hours ago, basically just to let me know that they know I’m still here..waiting.”

“So nothing then?” she asked.

“Nope. But that’s good, right? Because if something went wrong. I’d know by now, don’t you think?” 

Desperation was getting the better of him. He felt like he had been in this waiting room for days. He watched as an elderly woman was given post-surgical directions for her husband who was having his hip replaced, followed by a mom who was anxiously awaiting the results of her eight year old’s appendectomy. So many lives coming in and out of this room, some ending with tears of joy and some just ending.

“Of course they would. Tony’s going to be fine. He’s a fighter and you’ve given him something to really fight for.”

“Thanks Pepper, I appreciate it.”

“You don’t understand. I have known Tony for over 20 years, so I know him better than anyone. And if Rhodey tries to convince you otherwise, remind him that he only had Tony 24/7 during the college years. I’ve been his assistant almost 24/7 since then and I know everything from his brand of toothpaste to his real height.”

They both chuckled at that since it was a little known fact that Tony often wore lifts when he was meeting new business partners. He called it a power move, but Bucky knew he was self conscious of his height, even though Bucky told him that his height was the thing that made him the perfect little spoon.

Pepper continued, “He loves you, you are his other half. Those weeks that he spent with you were the only days he ever took off the entire time he knew about his heart condition. He always said he had time to rest when he was dead. I can’t tell you how many arguments we had over this surgery. 

“His company, literally his life’s work, he was willing to let go, to sign over to me to run. But you? You, he wasn’t willing to let go so easily. To him, you were worth any risk.”

Bucky could feel the tears start to well again. “I’m scared Pepper. He’s my world too.”

“I know,” she responded. “But that's what's going to pull him through. It's always been you.”

After Pepper's phone call, Bucky started pacing the floor of the small waiting room. Every time someone entered the room now he immediately turned, hoping that the next bit of news was for him.

“Mr. Stark?” The doctor called out.

“Yes, I’m here.” Bucky crossed the room to meet him.

“Your husband is out of surgery and in recovery. The damage was a little more extensive than we originally anticipated, so that’s why it took a little bit longer. “

The news frightened Bucky, “Is he going to be alright?”

“We won’t know for sure until he wakes up to see if something happened while he was under anesthesia but the heart surgery itself was 100% successful.”

Bucky nearly collapsed where he stood. “Oh my God doctor, thank you. Thank you so much.”

He reached out his hand to shake the doctor’s but then emotion overtook him and he wrapped the doctor in a hug instead.

The doctor smiled at him. “The nurse will be in momentarily to take you to his post-op room and I’ll be in shortly after he wakes up”

“Okay, thanks again Doc.” Bucky could not wipe the smile from his face.

The nurse showed him to Tony’s room and he began making phone calls. He had had enough of the sadness in everyone’s voices today, he wanted to be the one to share the good news as well. He reminded everyone that they still had to wait for Tony to wake up before they were completely free and clear but Tony was alive, alive with a heart that would be able to carry them safely into the rest of their lives together.

He just finished the last of the phone calls when he heard Tony stir.

“Tony?” Bucky tried. “Babe?” He sat down on the bed and ran his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“Hmm,” Tony managed to get out.

“Hey babe, it’s over. It’s all over.” Bucky leaned in closer to Tony’s face.

Tony’s eyes slowly opened. “Hi.”

“Hi babe.”

Tony licked his lips, “I don’t think I’ll need those slip on shoes after all.”

Bucky started to laugh and cry at the same time. “I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.”


End file.
